


MCGA Group Chat

by 3114Paige



Series: MCGA miscellaneous [1]
Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: Multi, and here we are, but no instead i'm doing what literally everyone has done before, i had an actual fic planned out and i was going to post it, idk why i'm doing this, it's just a mess tbh, tj comes in later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-07-17 19:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3114Paige/pseuds/3114Paige
Summary: MCGA gang using a group chat.This is so unoriginal but I felt the need to write it and so I am.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is really bad. Don't judge this as my writing capabilities, I swear I can write actual stuff, although that may also be not good, but just,,, don't,,, okay? thanks.

*previous chat contains lots of falafel craving and blitzstone talk. Just for context.*

Sam: Do you think that we should add B&H to the group? I mean, they’re together now, right?  
Mango: If you want Hearth to kill you then sure go ahead

_AF added Blitz & Hearth to the group. _

Mango: wow thanks Alex, we’re all going to die  
Blitz: … honestly i’m speechless  
Hearth: u had a chat about us? Without us? I’m hurt.  
Mango: Well it was either us having a secret chat or us sneaking out to meet up once a week  
Hearth: ,,, or not at all  
AF: dude, you two flirt so much it’s impossible to not talk about you  
Hearth: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ u have a point  
Sam: anyway, it’s all behind us now, you’re together!! Congrats!!  
Blitz: i mean, thanks, but also no thanks. You were trying to set us up the entire time?  
AF: yup, you’re welcome. Fyi, i was against it at first but eventually there was so much sexual tension that i had to do something  
Hearth: ??? okay??  
Blitz: *cough* sure

_Mango changed Blitz’s name to FashionDad._

_Mango changed Hearth’s name to MagicDad._

Mango: sorry i just had to have something more fitting  
FashionDad: not complaining  
MagicDad: tbh i’m just glad that i’m not magnus’ “mom” anymore  
MagicDad: where did that come from btw?  
Mango: some dude i talked to this one time said that you guys looked like my parents and i was like “like my parents?” and he’s like yeah like your mom and dad  
Mango: apparently it became a thing after that  
MagicDad: aah  
MagicDad: ok  
MagicDad: sure  
MagicDad: but why me specifically?  
Mango: idk dude dont question the street peeps  
FashionDad: “The Street Peeps”  
Alex: The Street Peeps™  
Mango: ...yes  
FashionDad: why exactly does this chat exist?  
Sam: well, in the beginning it was to talk about your relationship behind your back, but eventually it’s just morphed into a falafel mess, courtesy of Magnus  
Mango: youre welcome  
Sam: i didn’t want it  
Mango: :) well you have it now :)  
MagicDad: mmkay, anyways i’m gonna go now, i’ve got stuff to do  
FashionDad: ...stuff  
MagicDad: can’t tell you, it’s a surprise  
FashionDad: would i like that surprise  
MagicDad: idk would you  
AF: SEE WHAT I MEANT ABOUT SEXUAL TENSION??  
AF: GET A ROOM  
FashionDad: we have a room  
MagicDad: we use it for sleeping  
Mango: blitz dont reply to that please just log off both of you  
FashionDad: aight  
MagicDad: sleep tight children

_FashionDad and MagicDad have gone offline._

Sam: I’d better get to bed too. I’ve got an exam tmrw  
AF: good luck sis!  
Sam: thanks, but i’m fairly certain i’m going to fail anway  
Sam: i’ve missed half of the classes because of valkyrie stuff  
Mango: :(( good luck anyway hope you pass at least  
Sam: thanks magnus  
Sam: goodnight

_Sam has gone offline._

AF: and then there were two  
Mango: actually i’m gonna go to sleep too  
Mango: gnight alex  
AF: goodnight  
AF: sleep tight  
AF: don’t let the Ratatosk bite  
AF: he knows where you sleep, y’know  
Mango: dont remind me

_Mango has gone offline._

AF: well, goodnight me  
AF: goodnight to you too, hope you have sweet dreams  
AF: why thank you  
AF: i sure am glad that i still have people to talk to and they haven’t just left me alone

_AF has gone offline._


	2. A Mess of a Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mostly just blitz and hearth tbh  
> i promise i have an actual plot planned for this

_MagicDad is online_

MagicDad: WAKE UP IT’S A NEW DAY THE SUN’S OUT TIME TO BE OUTSIDE

_FashionDad is online_

FashionDad: *cough*  
MagicDad: I TAKE THAT BACK DON’T U FUCKING DARE GO OUTSIDE  
FashionDad: relax, i wasn’t planning on it  
MagicDad: good because i was gonna say i am not helping u if u get petrified 

_Mango is online_

Mango: guys its not even 6am is this really the time  
FashionDad: Hearth’s gotten a habit of getting up and watching the sunrise  
FashionDad: which would actually be really cute and poetic if he didn’t insist on waking me up every time  
MagicDad: it’s not my fault that ur a light sleeper  
FashionDad: but you could be more careful  
MagicDad: blitz do i have to remind u that i’m deaf and therefore insensitive to what small noises may or may not wake u up  
FashionDad: or y’know you could just stay in bed  
FashionDad: with me  
FashionDad: i kinda miss having you there when i do wake up  
MagicDad: but sun  
Mango: hearth loves the sun more than blitz confirmed you heard it here folks  
MagicDad: no it’s just that i would die without the sun and idk about u but i’d kinda like to stay alive  
MagicDad: o shit wait i’d probably die without blitz tbh  
FashionDad: can’t tell whether you’re being cute or whether you’d stop wanting to live without me and so die or whether you genuinely think that if i didn’t exist you’d be dead  
Mango: so its a tie?  
MagicDad: something like that  
FashionDad: good enough for me  
MagicDad: no but srsly i do love u @FashionDad and i would be dead if not for u and i’m eternally grateful for that  
FashionDad: love you too bud, thanks for not apologising for your existence this time  
FashionDad: get your ass back in here  
MagicDad: holdup while i just detach my ass  
FashionDad: preferably the rest of you too  
MagicDad: darn i was just ready to use my new Ass Detachment technology  
FashionDad: please  
FashionDad: stop  
Mango: idk about you but this is kinda hilarious  
Mango: also adorable did i ever tell you that you guys are my otp  
MagicDad: honestly i’m flattered that we’re ur otp and not ur own relationship  
Mango: ok maybe your my second otp  
FashionDad: that sounds more realistic  
Mango: anyway next time guys can you have a conversation at a more reasonable time i’m getting pinged  
MagicDad: if u were asleep u wouldn’t be bothered  
Mango: it wakes me up  
MagicDad: then put it on silent  
Mango: what if someone needs me?  
MagicDad: then i’m sure alex would come smack u awake  
Mango: i mean you’re not wrong  
MagicDad: i’m nearly always right  
MagicDad: maybe like 80% of the time  
MagicDad: i’m surprised blitz hasn’t begun to argue yet  
Mango: maybe he agrees  
MagicDad: @FashionDad ??  
MagicDad: blitz did u fall asleep  
MagicDad: wait a sec ima go upstairs and check  
MagicDad: yeah he fell asleep  
MagicDad: i’m just gonna leave him

_AF is online_

Mango: hey when its an actual time do you and blitz wanna come hang out? Ive got plans  
MagicDad: ur plans are never good  
AF: oh trust me this one is  
MagicDad: ok now i’m even more worried because a plan that magnus and alex agree on is most likely terrifying for anyone or everyone involved  
AF: hearth i swear its genuinely a good plan  
AF: tj’s coming  
MagicDad: hmm  
AF: sam’s also coming  
MagicDad: usually if sam’s involved it’s pretty safe so alright  
Mango: cool  
Mango: meet you by the duckling statue at 11.30ish  
MagicDad: ok  
MagicDad: i’ll get sam to bring the mini fire extinguisher  
MagicDad: better safe than sorry, especially after last time  
AF: that was fun  
Mango: yeah real fun  
Mango: i love setting my jacket on fire  
AF: ikr  
AF: i’m going back to sleep i want to be awake when this goes down

_AF has gone offline._

Mango: i guess im awake now  
MagicDad: what a shame :))))  
Mango: im gonna go have a shower or something  
Mango: see you later

_Mango has gone offline._

MagicDad: im gonna take this rare opportunity to mess with blitz's phone  
MagicDad: not enough to actually damage anything but enough to confuse him

_MagicDad has gone offline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm surprised that people are actually reading this and thank you so much!  
> What's your thoughts? I want to hear them!  
> Hope you didn't hate it, if you did, well don't worry, I'll soon hate it anyway :/  
> You can find me on Tumblr at bookshelpwithmysocialanxiety :)  
> Next chapter won't be a chat purely for the sake of convenience.


	3. hnghng

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another mess lol did you expect me to come up with anything better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry i was going to continue this sorta plot i had and i know i said it was gonna be actual writing but it just sat there for months and months and i had no energy or motivation to finish it so i’m just gonna make it all up and abandon all hope of a plot
> 
> It’s actually been so long that i can barely remember whose username is whose but here we are i’ll give it a shot
> 
> Also hhhhh i’m sorry there’s so much inconsistency like i don’t think i even had AF for alex’s name in the first chapter but it’s because i leave off word vomiting the next one for months
> 
> TJ's misspelling isn't intentional although i know it looks it it's just what happens when i don't fix what i type
> 
> hope you enjoy anyways i feel like i'm going a bit off the rails and ooc at this point

_Mango is online_

 

Mango: guys…..

Mango: i have been assaulted

Mango: alex and mallory ambushed me with hairbrushes because apparently i need to brush my hair

 

_FashionDad, MagicDad and Sam are online._

 

FashionDad: they’re not wrong

FashionDad: if you’re gonna keep it that long you should brush it, you’re not on the streets anymore, kid

Mango: :(

Sam: You do need to

Mango: et tu sam??

Mango: i thought you supported my long hair!

 

_AF is online._

 

Sam: When you brush it, yes

Mango: im being ganged up on

AF: YEAH you are!!

Mango: hearth? 

MagicDad: honestly i dont care what u do as long as i dont have to deal with it

MagicDad: in terms of ur hair

MagicDad: that could mean some bad things and i didnt intend on it meaning that

Mango: yeah yeah i get you

Mango: thanks for the support dad

MagicDad: i cant read the word dad without it feeling even minorly kinky anymore

FashionDad: … do you have something you want to tell us Hearth

 

_MagicDad has gone offline._

 

FashionDad: just so you know, he laughed so hard he dropped his phone and I’m maybe 60% certain it broke 

AF: i say he definitely has a daddy kink

FashionDad: I don’t know and I don’t want to know

Mango: neither 

Sam: I’m just going to pretend like this conversation never happened and that we’re still talking about Magnus’ hair. 

Sam: Yes Magnus, you should brush your hair, however I’m not sure I can support other people doing it for you as you might eventually rely on them to do it rather than get into the habit yourself. 

 

_MagicDad is online._

 

MagicDad: my phone screen cracked and i think the battery fell out momentarily so i had to wait for it to turn on

MagicDad: i just noticed and im ashamed for not noticing sooner but i think sam is the only one who actually uses punctuation and capitals while messaging 

Sam: I like to get things right. Honestly, I’m surprised Blitz doesn’t since he’s such a perfectionist. 

FashionDad: i did originally but sometimes getting the words out is more important than being perfect and i gave up

FashionDad: i still use most punctuation though

FashionDad: and i’ll never say “u” or “tho” or “tbh” i can only handle so much

MagicDad: i feel attacked

FashionDad: at least you spell things right, unlike TJ

Mango: i don’t even message in a set way i just do whatever i feel like doing

AF: ain’t that the truth

AF: speaking of tj,,,

 

_AF added CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! to the chat._

 

AF: we really should add the others at some point

Mango: does halfborn even know how to use a phone? 

AF: he can but only amateurly 

FashionDad: I wasn’t aware there was a professional way to use a phone

AF: its the 21st century what do you expect

MagicDad: blitz 

MagicDad: blitz she wrecked you

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!: mallory can use a phone well neough i think

FashionDad: .... *enough

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!: what was it you said? That getiing the words out somtimes matters more than being perfect?

MagicDad: blitz 

MagicDad: blitzen buddy

MagicDad: youve been wrecked again

FashionDad: thanks for the memo

AF: i still find it strange that hearth is relatively up to date on memes despite only living here for how long?

MagicDad: uhh too long

AF: yet people who have lived here for 50+ years cant?? 

MagicDad: that just how it be

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!: hey i understand some memes

AF: yeah but youve been a teenager for an extended amount of time 

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!: what does age have to do ith it

AF: a lot 

AF: relevance, mainly

AF: look i dont want to get into the psychology behind memes today okay get halfborn to do a study on it if you really wanna know

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!: i might acually do that becaduse is seems interesting 

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!: see yall later

 

_CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! is offline._

 

MagicDad: ah shit i think my phones about to die again 

MagicDad: u guys dont understand there was a dint in the floor where it landed i think its pretty fucked up

AF: do you have a nokia or something

MagicDad: haha havent heard that one before very funny

MagicDad: but no 

AF: any last words before you inevitably get cut off?

MagicDad: remember kids

MagicDad: dont be an asshole just make sure you have one

 

_MagicDad is offline._

 

AF: r.i.p hearthstone, whatever year he was born - 2019 

AF: thank you for your profound knowledge

AF: it will guide us to truly better ourselves

AF: it is possible that we will remember you but with the amount of focus this chat has it is unlikely

AF: i havent always loved you but i do now and thank you for being my friend

Sam: Look out, Alex is getting deep

AF: oi you in the back

AF: this is a funeral be respectful

Sam: Says the one telling the dead that he won’t be remembered

AF: i said he might not be remembered

Sam: You said it was possible he will be remembered but unlikely

AF: pfft semantics

Sam: Now’s a good time for me to leave, I have to be up in time for school anyway

FashionDad: Hearth wants to say something - whatever is sent next is not under my control

FashionDad: good luck with ur McEducation

Sam: Of course that’s the one time that you use capitals

Sam: Goodnight, sleep tight

AF: dont let the bed bugs bite

AF: and by bed bugs i mean amir

Sam: ALEX!!

 

_Sam is offline._

 

Mango: wow alex thats a new low

AF: what can i say it had to be done

FashionDad: i am back in control and i apologise immensely on behalf of hearth

AF: dont bother hes a memelord nothing you can ever do will repair the damage of his sins

FashionDad: hearth says “fuck, that’s too many words for this time of day”

FashionDad: hearth not me

AF: yes we get it blitz because you cant swear even if it were to save your life

FashionDad: that’s not true i have said it i just don’t care to use it in casual situations 

FashionDad: i usually only swear if there’s something seriously wrong

AF: mhmm

FashionDad: i do!

AF: i bet hearth forces it out of you sometimes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

FashionDad: … 

FashionDad: i don’t want to talk about this can we please change the subject

AF: lmao no

FashionDad: magnus, bargain with your s/o please

Mango: no can do amigo its out of my hands

FashionDad: i’m disappointed in you, son

Mango: ah shit alex he pulled the son card im sorry but im gonna have to ask you to stop

AF: im not sure if i can do that

Mango: :(( please ,,, i dont want my dad to be sad

AF: hmm

Mango: ill let you kill me in battle

AF: that would happen anyway

Mango: true but this time ill _let_ you

AF: maggie its gonna happen whether or not you let me or not

Mango: but this time you have my legal consent

AF: ffs alright 

FashionDad: thanks @Mango i owe you my life

FashionDad: please don’t take that literally

Mango: dude id never do that

FashionDad: just covering my butt

FashionDad: again don’t take that literally

FashionDad: i mean you could but that would imply i was half naked a minute ago and i most definitely was not

AF: okayokayokay too much calm down dude nobody is gonna take you literally

FashionDad: sometimes you guys like to take things literally and make fun of it so i was making sure

FashionDad: honestly kids these days

AF: you’re barely older than us

FashionDad: i know so why am i your guys’ dad

Mango: sentiment

FashionDad: magnus if i was actually your dad you would’ve been born when i was four

Mango: were not taking this literally blitz

Mango: you have a Dad energy about you

Mango: forget big dick energy you have dad energy

AF: hearth has both a slight big dick energy and a dad energy

Mango: hes a Power Dad

FashionDad: i don’t think i can handle much more of this so i’m just gonna go while the going’s fairly okay

Mango: aight see ya dad

FashionDad: i... don't know how to deal with this

 

_FashionDad is offline._

 

AF: thats minorly kinky magnus

Mango: weve had this conversation already today and i dont want to have it again

Mango: im gonna go have a shower 

AF: yes clean your filthy body

Mango: how do you know im filthy??

AF: you always are

Mango: pfft

AF: go get clean 

Mango: alright jeez

 

_Mango is offline._

 

AF: how am i nearly always the last one online ffs

 

_AF is offline._


	4. That One Where Blitz Done Darn Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah uh blitz is a total dumbass sometimes and you can't convince me otherwise
> 
> also when are hearth and blitz gonna go to a therapist good fuck we know they need it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: oh yeah, this'll be an easy fic to keep running! i just have to shit out words every now and then and it'll be fine!  
> Me, after months of not uploading like i said i would: hey maybe it isn't easy because i have to actually remember to do it
> 
> i swear i'm trying to keep this up

_FashionDad, Mango and AF are online._

FashionDad: hey guys real quick, does anyone know how to get your hand that may or may not be stuck in the sink safely out?

Mango: is this a time sensitive question,,,?

FashionDad: the oven may or may not be on fire and the amount of smoke in this room may or may not be rapidly increasing

AF: i think youre fucked mate

AF: see you in valhalla i guess 

FashionDad: alex i’m not joking i am stuck in a room that is on fire how do i solve this

Mango: ah shit,, okay is hearth at home??

FashionDad: not.. currently

Mango: ill be there in a minute

Mango: stay online so we know youre not dead 

 

_Mango is offline._

 

FashionDad: just saying if i did die, my death would not turn my phone off because that’s not how it works

 

_MagicDad is online._

 

MagicDad: what the fucking nick nack paddy whack is going on 

FashionDad: hey hearth how you doing

MagicDad: im walking back home,, and i see a plume of smoke coming from my kitchen window,, where i left my assumed totally capable boyfriend

MagicDad: how do u think im doing??

MagicDad: also actually r u ok im kinda minorly majorly worried what fuckery have u been up to

FashionDad: i mean i’m breathing in more smoke with every passing breath and my hand is stuck down the sink and i can’t get it out and i might die here and i'm having a major panic attack and existential crisis at the same time but yeah 

MagicDad: honestly i leave u alone for ten minutes,,

MagicDad: but actually sit tight im only like 100 metres from the front door

FashionDad: magnus is here i might have a chance of living

FashionDad: the door’s locked

FashionDad: forget everything i just said the door isn’t locked and i might not have a chance of living magnus is struggling to breathe

FashionDad: it seems he’s immune to heat but not smoke

FashionDad: nah he’s okay he put out the fire but i’m still stuck

FashionDad: he says “blitz, please stop narrating your own death scenario, it’s actually kind of morbid”

AF: coming from the guy who narrates his own death every day like a fucking sports commentator 

AF: honestly 

AF: “and now, magnus chase is coming up from the inside, he pitches, he scores!! Ah shit it seems chases bat has caught on fire and hes now dying. What a tragic turn of events for this match”

AF: to clarify magnus has never seen a single game of sport in his life and _understood it_

MagicDad: yeah thats pretty clear

 

_FashionDad is offline._

 

AF: o shit he dead!

 

_MagicDad is offline._

 

AF: o shit the dads are dead!

 

_Sam is online._

 

Sam: Is there ever a week where somebody doesn’t end up in a life threatening situation??

AF: sammy

AF: darling dearest sister

AF: most of us live in valhalla

AF: yknow the place where they fight to the death every day?

Sam: I’m not including those instances.

Sam: But still, people manage to get into genuinely life threatening situations.

Sam: Last week Halfborn got run over.

Sam: The week before that, Magnus choked at Fadlan’s Falafel.

Sam: The week before that, you _and_ Mallory were found in Midgard after midnight, having gotten blackout drunk for no apparent reason.

Sam: How did you even get into a bar?? Technically, both of you are still underage and you look it!

AF: hey hey hey look

AF: magnus was being a wuss

AF: he thought it would kill him if he even _went out_ with us and we hadnt even planned to go drinking

AF: “oh no, but alex, its after midnight! thats our curfew unless we have an emergency! we didnt get granted full access to the nine worlds just to roam the streets, hurr durr durr!”

AF: and i was fed up to my teeth with it so i went to see mals and we went out and ended up getting drunk which was not the plan

Sam: Never mind how it happened, it still happened and my point still stands. 

AF: eh were a bunch of teens who are always caught up in prophecies

AF: sometimes its nice to think about dying without it being inevitable and premeditated 

AF: yknow

 

_Mango, FashionDad and MagicDad are online._

 

Mango: whoa deep talk happened while i was gone

Mango: also im gonna pretend alex never said anything about me being a wuss

MagicDad: oof mamma mia theres some drama

Sam: @FashionDad are you okay?

FashionDad: uh i'm okay in terms of physically but i can't vouch for mentally

Sam: Are you guys ever gonna get help and if so, when??

MagicDad: maybe one day when i feel like that would be good but my brain still tells me that i need to be As Sad As Possible because of the whole empty cup thing so idk man it might not ever happen

FashionDad: is this the first time this chat has ever. Not memed for a little while

Sam: Unfortunately.

MagicDad: real talk is for in person

MagicDad: when im online i just wanna be a living meme okay

MagicDad: im one of those toys that u pull a string out of and i just repeat memes over and over

FashionDad: yeah you do need help bud

MagicDad: i like how u said that because i started talking about being a toy not because im hella depressed

FashionDad: like you said, real talk is for offline

MagicDad: UHM, ACTUALLY i said real talk is for IN PERSON not OFFLINE jeez get it right blitz im not here for u to mock

FashionDad: i’m gonna go have a shower so i don’t smell like smoke and try to repress this entire experience

MagicDad: good luck because im here to remind u every step of the way

MagicDad: also the kitchen is still full of smoke if anyone is wondering and the sprinklers are going

MagicDad: blitz ur essentially already having a shower

FashionDad: i hope that the sprinklers are only in the kitchen 

MagicDad: here ill check u go wash ur stinky ass

 

_MagicDad is offline._

 

FashionDad: i never know how to respond anymore send me help i beg

 

_FashionDad is offline._

 

AF: and just like that the Disaster Gays are gone

Mango: arent we all disaster gays

AF: i mean yeah but theyre more of a disaster than we are

Mango: sometimes im not so sure i mean they look after themselves and a whole horde of kids and only manage to have as many fuck-ups as we do and we only look after ourselves

AF: shit you right

AF: anyhow i gotta go because i have a strong feeling this conversation is winding down and i AM NOT going to be the last one online this time

Mango: thats suspiciously convenient alex 

Mango: considering i just heard the ice cream van somewhere down the street

AF: hey im allowed to get ice cream 

Mango: funny because you dont seem to think so

Mango: you seem almost ashamed

AF: shut up mango let me live 

 

_AF is offline._

 

Mango: on that note im gonna follow him and get ice cream too 

Sam: Hey, if you ate mango flavoured ice cream, would that be cannibalism?

Mango: lets find out!

 

_Mango is offline._

 

Sam: Boy, am I glad that I don't have normal friends. 

Sam: I'm kidding, I wish I did.

 

_Sam is offline._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not counting this as a real fic, but if I did this would be my first work on this website. Not that that's particularly important but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> What's your thoughts? I want to hear them! Comment if you want more chapters I guess?  
> Hope you didn't hate it, if you did, well don't worry, I'll soon hate it anyway :/  
> You can find me on Tumblr at bookshelpwithmysocialanxiety :)


End file.
